As children, people learn from a young age to defend their wrongs and that lying gets them out of trouble.
Our natural human instincts want us to protect ourselves from discomfort as much as possible, and what could be more uncomfortable than being held responsible or receiving consequences for our own actions?
It's in our very nature to defend and protect our egos at all costs, and often people go their whole lives living this way for so long that they eventually begin to believe their own victim stories.
No matter their actions somehow they are never in the wrong... We all know these people.
Unfortunately with this behaviour people unknowingly rob themselves from any opportunity to grow.
Denial suppresses while acknowledgement releases.
We cage ourselves to our own limitations when we resist the moments we are presented with to grow past our own human nature. Understanding that we are responsible for ourselves is actually one of the biggest ingredients for manifestation in our lives. We are often presented with this lesson in small ways when it comes to the relationships with the people around us. Our relationships with the people around us reflect the relationship we have with ourselves and in turn the relationship we have with ourselves is a direct reflection of our relationship with the universe. It's all one in the same. When we take our lives into our own hands and begin to see the energy we put out is always an exchange we are having with the universe and energy as a whole; we begin to see everything as an opportunity to grow and surpass the bare minimum of human existence of survival aka "kill or be killed" and we move into the ebb and flow of manifesting and thriving .
It's amazing how much of our lives and the cards we are dealt actually all relate back to the responsibility we have for ourselves as individuals.
If you can never be wrong you leave no room for change, and if you are always the victim why would your life play out any other way than to fit the narrative for the character you are actively acting out?
Accountability reminds us that our actions have cause and effect to the world around us and it keeps us open to learning from our mistakes and gives us the opportunity to grow.
Living in denial whether knowingly or unknowingly creates a cognitive dissonance between us and our reality. How can you manifest what you really want if you are at war with your own reality by living in a world you manipulate to protect your ego?
Now the other side of this claim is the same but in a different package.
Often we can do our best to be responsible for ourselves and be the most loving kind individuals and still continue to be dealt an awful deck.
Why is life doing this 'TO ME' we might find ourselves asking as we take into account the lack of wrongs we have committed and how unfair it feels to be receiving such unjust treatment from other humans around us and even from life itself.
This other category could be described as "justified victims", the ones who collect the pain done to them and hold it close to their hearts as the reasons for why their stories are not fair.
This is also in its own way is a lack of accountability.
Yes we can't always protect ourselves from pain, but it's what we do with it that defines how our own story goes. Even in being hurt, opportunity has disguised itself as pain in order to force us in to our own growth.
When we catalog and carry each pain that is done, the only thing we do to our lives is subtly and unknowingly begin to convince ourselves to believe that everything that has happened is what we deserve.
I spent so much of my life being the best person I could possibly be to the world around me.
But when life began to serve me pain, I felt offended and confused beyond belief.
How could this be deserved? What had I done to be given this?
I began telling my story to myself and others, and with each time I relived the emotions of pain i solidified my identity more and wrote myself into my very own victim narrative.
Pain is incredibly hard to heal from when it becomes apart of your identity.
We begin to justify ourselves in being weak when we coddle the hurt we have been made to feel for so long. Weakness branches off into our self image of worthiness as we continue down the road of reestablishing the existence of our wounds
Our wounds have a lot to do with who we are, but how we let go, forgive the past and release the energy we carry, has everything to do with who we to become.
How can you see or manifest yourself into a positive future if you are waking up every day reliving the person you are in the story that you keep telling yourself, that is really an identify trapped in a past victim state of negativity?
You reenforce your reality with the emotions you have towards yourself and your life.
Our emotions play a huge part in our manifestations. Our feelings hold their own frequency and signal reality and the way we experience life around us.
You have to begin focusing on the emotions you want to bring into the future, create boundaries with energy that interferes with your positive visions, and acknowledge any past errors while releasing any resistance you have created or allowed to block you from the abundant life you are meant for.
Ultimately in life everyone has so much potential.
But people are not their potential; they are the choices they make.
You control your reality by what you decide to take responsibility for.
Are you going to defend your wrong and write yourself into a false victim reality in order to protect your ego?
Or are you going to be grateful for the opportunity to bring your error to awareness and grow from the acknowledgement of your humanity?
Are you going to claim your pain like a metal of honour earned in a war you were thrown into without choice?
Or are you going to walk away stronger and remind yourself that the greatest act of self love you can ever accomplish is to free yourself and let go of the pain that was not yours to carry in the first place?
We often like to convince ourselves that our pain is unique, that it's what makes us special or serious individuals defined by what we have gone through.
In reality we do not have to keep reliving and recounting the events we have survived in order for others to see us as strong.
We show others our strength in the example of self love we have for ourselves, the kindness we show to others, and the boundaries we enforce with negativity.
//Eden Wilde
All copy rights belong to Eden Wilde
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